Raising Independent Kids Today Is Harder Than Ever

Posted on by Jenny Jurica


(Originally published in New Braunfels Monthly Magazine, June 2019)

I saw a quote recently by writer, Anne Lamott that struck a chord with me. She says, “You can’t run alongside your grown children with sunscreen and Chapstick on their hero’s journey. You have to release them. It’s disrespectful not to.” 

Taken literally, this quote resonated with me. As we approach some of the hottest days of the year, I’m the first to admit that I sometimes chase my 12 and 10 year old around the pool, wielding sunscreen and Chapstick. Old habits die hard for folks who have been doing this parenting thing for over a decade. But, this year, I’ve been working hard to make sure that I’m raising independent humans, who are also emotionally preparing for their own, “hero’s journeys.”  

As a parent, there is a delicate balance in encouraging independence in our kids but also making sure that they know that they can still lean on us when needed. The good news is that you can start teaching independence early and, with each lesson in independence, we hope to foster confidence and self reliance in our children. 

Here are some little things you can do to foster independence in your children from a young age:

Let Them Do It Themselves 

When children are small, it’s about letting them tie their own shoes or buckle their own car seat (even though it takes forever and tries your patience). Then, when they’re older, it’s about teaching them to use a knife to cut their own apple, even though it’s more work for you in the short term. More work in the short term equals big benefits (confidence building) in the long term. 

Model Confidence

There’s little that you can tell your children that will be as impactful as leading them by example. If they see that their parents are capable of taking care of things, thinking independently, and conducting themselves in adult ways, they’ll model that behavior. 

Let Them Fail

This is one of the hardest parts of parenting, but it’s necessary.  I’ve learned this lesson over the past year with my middle school child, as we quickly learned that it was her job to take care of her own business at school and in life. Our job is to be there to help dust them off, after the fall. 

One of our toughest jobs is to care for our dependents, but to also know when to release them. The ultimate goal is to raise children who know that they can come to you for guidance but who also have the confidence to set out on their own first and forge their way. By encouraging your kids to test their independence, you might just draw them closer to you, as they trust you to help them walk through it. So, as we celebrate our country’s independence over the coming week, I’m going to try to cultivate and celebrate my own childrens’ budding independence by sitting back and letting them apply their own Chapstick and sunscreen (although, I’ll definitely be on standby to help them reach those hard-to-reach places, just in case they need me!). 

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Learning To Trust and Listen to Your ‘Gut’

Posted on by Jenny Jurica

gut

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my gut and the noise that it makes.  And no, I’m not talking about the literal sounds that my stomach makes. I’m referring to my “gut” as that little voice of reason and truth in my head.

You know the one.

She’s your inner compass. The part of you that feels funny when you’ve done something that you know you shouldn’t have. And it’s the same voice that whispers to you when there’s something that you need to do. She’s relentless, isn’t she? Well, she is if you listen to her.

I guess my gut has always been there but it’s taken me years to learn to listen to her.

For instance, I knew that a long time that I probably needed to stop drinking. My “gut” (as well as my literal gut) were both screaming at me, but it just never seemed like a good time to quit, so I continually ignored that voice. Once I finally conceded defeat and told my gut, “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s quit,” she’s been louder than ever (bossy, even), guiding me and steering me through the currents in my life.

Now, I’m absolutely addicted to listening to that voice. I can tell now, by the way that I feel when faced with a decision, what the right thing to do is. I can tell by how my various options make me feel, which option is the right choice.

Recently, a friend called me. She had just been in a store where a person who was in the process of transitioning from one gender to the other had been assisting her. As she finished up there, while thanking this person for their help, she mistakenly called them by the wrong pronoun. As she got in her car to drive away, it ate at her. She didn’t want that person to feel as though she meant any disrespect for them or their journey. She called me on her way home to explain the situation.

“Should I go back to the store, explain myself and apologize?” she asked. I told her to listen to her gut. Was this exchange going to bother her for the next couple of days? Probably. Would taking the time to go back and make it right make her gut settle down? Probably.

So, there was her answer. She turned her car around, went back in, apologized and made it right. This settled her gut.

But is your gut always, unequivocally right?

I’ve had my gut lead me in directions that didn’t seem to immediately result in the best outcomes (i.e. job opportunities that turned out not to be the right fit, relationships and friendships that fizzled) but always, in those circumstances, I never walked away empty handed. I always walked away with a new connection, a new outlook, a new skill or a new confidence that has propelled me into something that is, perhaps, a better fit for me.

So, yeah. When in doubt, listen to your gut.

It’s always right–you know that it is–you just have to listen.

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Vulnerability and “God Things”

Posted on by Jenny Jurica

armour

At the beginning of the new year, I was prompted to come up with a word. A word that I wanted to work on–sort of like a New Year’s Resolution, but maybe more tangible. I chose vulnerability because I’ve got some serious, deep-seated programming that skews seriously “anti-vulnerability.”

It’s something that I’m not necessarily working on every day, but little by little, I’m trying to put myself in positions that challenge this fear of being vulnerable.

If you’ll remember, we started going to a church two years ago. Well, after attending regularly for the past two years, we’ve finally decided to take the plunge and become members. We began the month-long class yesterday to learn more about the church. We’re in a group with 16 other people.

When we got there, our pastor had us write down some things about ourselves like, “what sort of religious experiences we had growing up,” “what brought us to this current church,” etc. I had no problem answering the questions because I’ve thought long and hard about all of this since before we started going to the church.

When I stopped drinking alcohol, I got really into trying to better myself. This included exercise, other new healthy habits, and I also started the process of trying to find the right church for my family. It took a few years (and one major move to a new town) before we found our current church.

When I wrote the answers to the question yesterday about, “what brought us to this church,” I took the easy way (albeit, also truthful) route, which was about having kids and wanting to be better for them. The glaringly obvious other catalyst that drove me to do better and (eventually) find a church was giving up alcohol, but I didn’t write that down….because VULNERABILITY. (sigh)

The next thing I know, we’re going around the table, introducing ourselves and sharing what we’d written. I was on the opposite side of the table, so I heard the stories of about 6 other people before it got around to me. I loved hearing everyone’s stories and one thing that I heard over and over was mention of “God Things.” You know, those kismet type of situations that can only be explained by divine intervention.

Well, speaking of “God Things”…the lady who spoke two people before I was to speak told us that she’d found our church through the AA meetings that are held there weekly. She openly discussed her battle with alcoholism and her journey to becoming sober. “Hmmm,” I thought. “Should I talk about my own sobriety?” Still on the fence about if I was feeling like pushing on my vulnerability bubble that particular day, the next person ahead of me began his introduction. A big part of his journey to religion was…(wait for it)…getting sober.

Now, as the name of this blog suggests, I’m an introvert, so the mere act of speaking in front of a group like this had my heart palpitating, my legs shaking, and my palms sweating. I was already about to push WAY out of my comfort zone by even speaking aloud. But, I knew that this was a “God Thing,” that the two people seated nearest me were both sober. So, when it was my turn to speak, I explained how I wanted to be a better parent and to provide my kids with a healthy place to express love and be loved in a church but I also told the group how when I stopped drinking, everything changed. How that also pushed me to do better; be better.

It felt foreign in my mouth to even say the words aloud. I mean, I talk about not drinking here and on Instagram, but that’s behind the safety of my computer and my phone. I’ve never looked other people (strangers) in the eye and told them about how giving up alcohol changed everything in my life. 

Yesterday was a big moment for me, even though no one else probably knew it–not even my husband, seated right next to me. But, exposing that little chink in my armor made me feel more of a connection to the others in the group than I’ve felt in a really long time. It helps that our church is the kindest collection of souls I’ve ever encountered. But still, yesterday, I busted through a big, sensitive, layer of my armor and let my soft underbelly show through a bit. And it felt like a “God Thing” indeed.

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Changing Habits and How I Became a Non-Drinker

Posted on by Jenny Jurica

changing habits

Back before I quit drinking, giving up alcohol felt like something that was insurmountable–especially in our culture and, since I was deep in the trenches of “mom life,” and fully immersed in the, “mommy needs a drink because you cry/bite/whine/exist” movement.

Before, I was never much of a goal-setter or habit-haver. In short, I was floundering around, not quite sure of who I was or where I belonged. That’s why the drinking culture sucked me in. I was its ideal candidate.

Now that I’ve not been drinking for many years, it’s obvious to me that I wasn’t an alcoholic. (But this is not to say that it wouldn’t have gone that direction if I’d kept going at the pace that I was.) There’s a propensity for alcohol dependency in my DNA, so it’s lurking there for sure. But, I think what changed my life as much as giving up alcohol was changing (and forming) new habits. Adopting habits has been a life changer for me and here’s why:

Sticking To A Routine Has Helped Me To Feel Successful At Something: Even if that routine or habit is just making my bed every morning for a week, it’s an accomplishment. If I can do THAT, then, by damn, I can do lots of other things!

Exercise Became A New Habit: When I stopped drinking, for lack of anything better to do during the “witching hour” (4 p.m.-ish), I threw myself into classes at my local YMCA. Wow, if I (a known physical activity hater) can do THAT, then I can do anything!

I Whipped Our House Into Shape: I started meal planning and keeping a family calendar. I started running our house with military precision. Man, if I can get our lives even a little in control, I can do anything!

I Became a Morning Person: Giving up alcohol turned me into a morning person. I quickly learned how beautiful mornings can be when you’re not waking up dehydrated, fuzzy-headed, and regretful. If I can wake up (of my own free will) early, I can probably do lots of other hard things! We were made to do hard things.

I Started Practicing Gratitude: When I started accomplishing all of these life changes, that I never thought possible, I also started practicing gratitude in everyday occurrences. I have a habit of gratitude now that absolutely rules my life. I guarantee that if you come to me with a complaint or problem, I can flip that script and offer a positive spin on it…even if your garbage can leaked garbage juice in your new shoes as you hauled it up the driveway this morning (true story). Hooray for garbage pickup services! Ain’t life grand?! Making gratitude a habit is contagious and will change your life–believe that.

Here’s the thing: I know that if I’d just stopped drinking, and not changed any other habits in my life, I would have eventually started drinking again. But, since I changed so many habits all at once, I unknowingly set myself up for success (and this was purely by chance. I did not write a business plan for how I was going to change my life). By changing other habits in my life, I left ZERO room for drinking. I literally rearranged my schedule so that I was too busy doing other things to drink.

The latest research suggests that it takes 66 days to form a new habit. If this feels daunting, just try out your new habit(s) today. Then try it again tomorrow. If it’s working out for you, do it the next day too, and so on and so forth. You might be surprised how accomplished you’ll feel in just a short amount of time.

Oh, and don’t forget to see the miracles in your new habits…the big miracles and the small ones, because they’re all there and they tend to multiply when you acknowledge them.

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My Favorite Podcasts

Posted on by Jenny Jurica

Podcasts.jpg

Podcasts are one of my favorite things in the world right now. They’re my escape when I’m walking the dog and scrubbing my bathroom. My taste in podcasts range from light, fluffy, and funny to deep, dark, and disturbing–all depending on my mood.

I thought I’d compile a list of my favorites, in case you’re looking for something new to listen to. In no particular order, here are my current favorite podcasts:

Big Boo Cast.jpg

The Big Boo Cast is delightful. I always feel like I’m having a conversation with my best friends when I listen to Melanie and Sophie talk about life, beauty products, and even college football (which, I don’t give a rip about…and will occasionally fast-forward through but have managed to learn enough about Texas A&M football to give my husband pause and garner a look of bewilderment).

Watch What Crappens.jpg

If ever someone in my neighborhood calls the Sheriff because some crazy lady walking her dog is laughing hysterically (and peeing her pants a little), it will be ME getting arrested and it will be due to Watch What Crappens. If you watch any of the shows on Bravo you need to listen to this podcast. It will make you laugh like none other and will leave you feeling like your best friends have been watching Real Housewives with you. It’s like Christmas morning each time a new episode is released.

armchair expert

Full disclosure: I don’t listen to every episode of Armchair Expert–only the ones where I’m interested in who the guest is. I totally enjoyed the first episode when Dax interviewed his wife, Kristen Bell (whom I adore). This is also a long podcast, so it’s good for a long car ride or a full day of house cleaning. But, Dax is surprisingly (I’m not sure why this is surprising) smart and sensitive. I also like the questions that he asks.

Holderness podcast.jpg

Love them or not, the Holderness family (of “Christmas Jammies,” YouTube fame) is very similar to my family. We have kids the same ages and they’re about the same age as my husband and myself. I also feel like Kim and I are almost the same person–minus the “sipping the charda-nay-nay.” So, I’ve come to enjoy their podcast, The Holderness Family Podcast. They discuss things that are relevant in my life and it’s equal parts light and fluffy and a little deeper. But–God love him–I usually fast forward through Penn’s opening song that he creates specifically for each episode. I admire the talent that he has, but his songs make me cringe. #sosorry #pleasedonttellhim

Dr. Death

If light and fluffy isn’t your thing, but sick and twisted is, Dr. Death is for you. I blew through this podcast (there are six episodes–but I just looked it up and there’s a new update that I’ll be listening to as soon as I finish this post) in a week or so. It’s a true story of a spinal surgeon in Dallas who purposely killed and maimed lots of patients. It’s horrifying and makes me rethink that elective bunion, bladder lift and boob job combo surgery I’ve been contemplating. This podcast would also be great for a long car trip. Binge-worthy for sure.

acmb conversations

Last, but not least, one of the blogs that I contribute to, Alamo City Moms Blog, just launched a new podcast. I’ve missed out on participating in the first few episodes, but look forward to jumping in to future episodes. This group of women is diverse, intelligent, and seriously hilarious! I’m so honored to be a part of what they’re doing. Check out the new podcast HERE and subscribe so that you don’t miss any new episodes!

I have more podcasts in heavy rotation, but these are the ones that I most look forward to listening to.

What are your favorites? Do tell….

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Sunrise, Sunset

Posted on by Jenny Jurica

Baby Anna

This morning, I sent my baby off to middle school. To be fair, this “baby,” is actually 11.5  years old now and absolutely ready for middle school. But, this didn’t make it any easier on me.

This kid of mine is confident, smart, and capable. Her mother, however, has been a nervous wreck for months. Maybe it’s because I’m projecting my own jr. high insecurities onto my daughter. I have reminded myself over and over though that today’s middle school is not the jr. high that I lived though and this makes me (equal-parts) relieved and more nervous.

Adding insult to injury is that last week I stumbled upon a bunch of photos and videos from her toddler years. They sucker punched me. The videos are almost unbearable because that voice…that wee, little voice that is long gone. Ouch.

This morning, I felt exactly the same way that I did the morning I sent her to kindergarten. I had very similar concerns: will she find friends? Will anyone know her or will she just be a number? Will anyone CARE to know her? Does she know where to go and where the bathrooms are?

Then, the bus arrived to pick her up (her choice to ride the bus…I was ready and willing to endure the drop off line the first day) and, I swear on all that is holy, the bus looked to be full of grown-ass men, with facial hair, smoking cigarettes and cleaning their fingernails with their crusty pocket knives. Maybe this was all my imagination, but she IS riding the bus with high schoolers and they just look so much older than her and it makes this mama a little crazy.

But then, at lunchtime, I got a text from her. They let them use their phones at lunch and she texted to tell me that she’s having a great day and that she loves me. And then my heart crumbled, I burst into tears, and all I can think about is squeezing the yellow guts out of her as soon as she walks in the door this afternoon.

My baby. She’s gonna be ok. And I might just be ok too.

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You May Now Greet Your Awkward Neighbor

Posted on by Jenny Jurica

greet your neighbor

We’ve been going to our church for over a year now. My husband plays in the church band and I’m on the “hospitality team,” meaning that about once a month or so, I get to church a little early, make the coffee and provide a snack or dessert for folks to munch on in between services. This “hospitality team” gig is my jam indeed because I get to scratch my “hostess itch” and turn to Pinterest for a cute treat to make for church that week and also, it seems that no matter what kind of treat you bring to share, people go legit crazy for it. My first time serving on the hospitality team, I took brownies, made from our favorite brownie mix from Costco. Not terribly ambitious, but I knew that those brownies never disappoint–and boy, was I right! People were losing their ever-loving minds over my boxed brownie-mix brownies! They would try one, then run off to get friends and drag them over for one, too. It was embarrassing (because, boxed brownie mix) and the best day ever, all rolled into one. My love language is “words of affirmation,” so you know I was happy as a clam as people exclaimed over my Costco boxed-brownie masterpieces.

But, there’s also an aspect of church that I dread every week, that I’m ashamed to admit. My introvertedness rears its ugly head the worst during the portion of the service when we’re to turn and greet our neighbors. It’s the same as a “passing of the peace,” in other churches (and I don’t like it at other churches either).

I think it was Sylvia Plath who said, “I like people too much, or not at all” and that’s me completely. There are some Sundays when the greet-your-neighbor portion of the service is effortless. I interact with several people and end up feeling rejuvenated and newly connected to the human race. But then, there are some Sundays when my awkward shows–big time–and I can’t manage to tuck it back in.

On those awkward Sundays, I’ll step on toes as people go to hug me; I’ll mistake a handshake for a hug and accidentally graze a breast with my outstretched ready-to-shake hand or smack someone in the face with my elbow during an ill-timed hug. Often, I’ll choke under pressure and forget the name of someone whose name I should know, or…worse, I’ll say someone’s name when I shouldn’t even know their name, thus outing myself as having a weird Asperger’s-like memory for names and also being nosey and having eaves-dropped and learned a name that way.

I will say though, that I appreciate how the greet-your-neighbors portion pushes me out of my comfort zone every week. There are some weeks when I’m just not feeling it and I have to talk myself out of getting up to use the restroom just prior, to avoid it all together. But, I’ve also found that on Sundays when I’m feeling the least into it, it seems like that’s when it goes the most smoothly. Go figure.

Another bright spot in all of this is that we do this part of the service first thing, so once it’s done, I can relax and focus on the lesson. If we greeted our neighbors later in the service, I’d fixate on it the whole time. So, clearly a fellow introvert has structured our service. Well done! Introverts unite (separately, in our own homes!)!

All of this to say, we have the most welcoming church and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I know that, while I feel like the most awkward person in the room during this part of the service, there’s a good chance that no one realizes how awkward I am…or maybe they do, but they love me in spite of it?

cheers-jenny

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I’m Not Old, You Are…

Posted on by Jenny Jurica

Funny things are starting to happen, y’all.

Things that I used to view as too “old” for me are suddenly bending in my favor. Darndest thing, right? Clearly, it’s absolutely not that I’m getting older. It’s that the world around me is changing.

Here’s what I’m talking about:

The first time I noticed this phenomenon was with Chico’s women’s’ clothing. I used to get their catalog in the mail and I’d immediately chunk it in the recycling bin–“old lady clothes,” I’m mutter. Then, last spring, the outfit on the cover of the spring/summer Chico’s catalog caught my eye. “Hey, that’s kind of cute! I’d wear that particular ‘old lady’ outfit!” And so I thumbed through the Chico’s catalog  with interest, noting that they’ve clearly changed their demographic to include fashionable, hip, NOT-OLD, 40-somethings. Well played, Chico’s.

I mean, look at this top from the newest Chico’s catalog:

I mean, it has birds and embroidery–two of my fashion love languages.

Then, it happened again:

Disgusted with the pop radio stations playing just flat-out weird music by new artists, I found my way over to the (previously) “Oldies Station.” Turns out, they’re not playing “oldies” anymore…they’re playing GOOD music that I KNOW and LOVE! They should really stop calling themselves an, “Oldies,” station. Harumph.

And most recently, I got an email from our public library announcing a field trip. This library-organized field trip consisted of a chartered bus ride to a museum that I’ve been interested in going to in nearby San Antonio and a pre-museum trip to Luby’s for lunch. For $35, your bus trip (including driver tips), lunch at Luby’s Cafeteria—I mean…who doesn’t love Luby’s? Just me? And your admission to the Holocaust Museum in downtown San Antonio are covered. No fretting with traffic or parking! Now, this is an activity I can get behind. Sure, it’s geared toward senior citizens, I’m sure, but hip, with-it 40-somethings could enjoy this too. Right? I couldn’t make it to this particular library field trip, but you can bet your britches that I’ll be keeping an eye out for future trips like this.

All of this to say that yes, I’m aware that the world isn’t changing, that I AM IN FACT getting older. It’s funny how it happens so gradually yet you realize it suddenly. It’s true: I’m increasingly having trouble finding stylish clothing that fits my 40 year old body well. I’m increasingly disinterested in throwing caution to the wind and embarking on adventures–I do enjoy a predetermined itinerary and I love letting someone else drive. And, it’s true: a lot of the music today sucks. Really and truly sucks. Not only do I enjoy the music that was the soundtrack of my college years and when I first met my husband, but it was also just really good music.

So, yes. I’m feeling more and more like my grandmother and I’m really ok with this. There’s no one else I’d rather be, in fact.

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My Facebook Break-Up

Posted on by Jenny Jurica

social media

I did something recently that was a long time coming. I broke up with Facebook. Now, in full disclosure, I didn’t completely break up with the social media time-suck. But, I did remove the app from my phone, which was the first step in a huge life improvement for me.

Here’s the thing: One of my writing gigs required me to come up with at least 12 story ideas every week. Facebook was the best place for me to find ideas. I followed all of the local news stations, police departments, community organizations, newspapers, etc. Facebook proved to be invaluable for offering up a plethora of ideas weekly. I was beholden to it for sure. I always envied my Facebook friends who would make a loud pronouncement every Lenten season, declaring their “break from Facebook.” Or during election time, folks who would respectfully disappear. I wanted to do that, but needed that stupid website for my story ideas and, (if we’re being honest here) my own selfish, snarky reasons, too (more on that below).

Then, I decided to step back a bit from my 12 article a week writing gig. One of the first things I did upon scaling back was to delete Facebook from my phone. Within a day, I noticed a huge difference in my productivity, my attitude and mood. These days, I check in on Facebook maybe once a day on my computer. There are still folks who send me PM’s on Facebook, so if it’s something that I feel like I need to read (chain letters need not apply) I’ll log on on my computer to read it, but then I quickly close it down again. Before I gave up Facebook, I was beginning to feel like I was trapped. Now I get a lot of satisfaction out of shutting it down and living in the present, real-life moments.

Here’s what I’ve learned in my brief break from Facebook:

–It’s a lot easier to “Love Thy Neighbor,” when you’re not seeing their daily photos and descriptions of their Starbuck’s order or their ugly responses to news events that fly in the face of who you thought they were. The thing is, Facebook shows a side of people that you don’t necessarily need (or want) to see–especially in people who are merely acquaintances. The “herd mentality” is strong on social media and I would get frustrated seeing people fly off the handle and really make an ass of themselves. It began to impact the way I viewed them in real life and I found myself more and more withdrawn in real life.

–I’m no longer stewing about a post that a stupid person, who I knew in passing in high school (25 years ago) posted. In the real world, I wouldn’t have or shouldn’t have even thought about that person, much less their feelings on divisive topic #652. Nor do I need to see their continued poor life choices every day. Yikes, people.

–I’m not “hate following” anyone anymore. I’m ashamed to admit this but there were a few people who I “hate followed.” If you don’t know what I mean by “hate following,” it’s when you check in on someone who you really don’t like–either in real life, on the internet or both–and you periodically check in on their social media to silently snark on them, compare yourself to them and (ultimately) seethe with anger. Now, I’ve let those people go and, I swear, my outlook on life (and on humans) is so much better.

–I have so much more free time. Period.

Obviously, it’s totally up to you how you manage your social media consumption, but I’ll tell you this: shutting down my Facebook usage has been a game changer and I don’t miss it, not one little bit. I truly thought that I would…but, I really don’t. So, if you’re not able to give it up completely, I can recommend culling your friends list; moving folks from “friends” to “acquaintances,” or flat-out blocking people who bring you anything less than joy. Trust me, it just might be the boost that your mood, productivity, and attitude needs. Also, it makes it so much easier to tolerate people in real life when you don’t have to be privy to their every social media rant and indulgence. It’s allowed me to see and process my neighbors as they are in person–not how they express themselves while hidden behind a phone or computer.

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So Much for Goals…

Posted on by Jenny Jurica

If you’ll kindly recall, in the glowy warmth of Auld Lang Syne a month and a half ago, I pledged to absolutely write here more often. As with most things in life, the motivation fizzled a bit.

But, here I am. I’ve decreased my writing load other places online and I’m hopeful to have more headspace to write here again. I’m not sure exactly what direction I’ll go with this blog but I did want to update you on a very important development.

When I was trying to cut corners and dropped my Rodan and Fields membership, I found myself really missing some of the products. But I just didn’t have space in my budget to warrant the extra money to spend on skincare. I’ve recently revisited my old-standby facial cleanser and I’m finding that my skin hasn’t looked better. Here’s what I use:

Equal parts coconut oil and castor oil

Yep…that’s it. And yes, I’m “washing” my face with oil. Sounds gross, right? Well, from what I understand, if your skin trends more oily, you should increase the castor oil and decrease the coconut oil in this concoction. And, alternatively, if you’re dry, you need more coconut oil and less castor oil. For me, 50/50 works great. I use this mixture at night. I slather it on then wipe it off with a warm, damp washcloth. My skin feels “fresh-from-a-facial” plump and hydrated after and never greasy. It also melts away makeup like a champ. If I’ve worked out or feel like my face is grimy, I’ll use a conventional facial cleanser, otherwise, I reach for the coconut oil stuff.

Then, after cleansing, I apply Teddie Organics Rosehip Seed Essential Oil (per Big Mama and Boo Mama’s glowing recommendations). You can’t beat the price or the convenience of Amazon and I’m happy with the results. I use it all over my face, neck and chest before bed and if there’s any left over, I rub it into my hands.

But the one R+F product that I concede defeat on and miss desperately is the Lash Boost. I milked my tube until the bitter end. Then, I set out to research more cost-effective alternatives. I thought I’d found a gem at Ulta. I read reviews of Lash Food and diligently applied the $20 product every night without fail for a couple of months and never saw a difference. In fact–if anything–I think my lashes look worse. (Sad trumpet sound) So, if you have the extra money in your budget, I’m here to tell you that Lash Boost is where it’s at.

So, there you have it: My triumphant return to blogging. I’ll be back though. I’m marinating on ideas and brainstorming topics. It’s happening…it’s really happening this time. Promise.

 

 

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